Talking to Parents
Don't Panic: How to Tell Your Parents You're Pregnant
It's not easy to go to your parents with the news that you are pregnant. It is normal and expected to feel afraid of the way they might respond, although we tend to imagine the worst.
While the news of your unplanned pregnancy could very well hurt your parents (it often does), they will survive (they always do). Though we may not always see it, most parents do love their children and want to be there for them when they are hurting or scared.
Every family is different: if your parents have a hard time expressing their love, you may need to turn to other family members or friends for emotional support. However, it could be that your crisis pregnancy will be an event that draws your family closer together.
We have witnessed how in many cases, the family of a pregnant daughter will bind tightly together to provide her with positive reinforcement. Hopefully, this will hold true for you, and you will be able to observe your parents' real concern and their desire to offer helpful, loving support.
Don't Put It Off!
Unless your parents are capable of physical abuse, it's best to tell them as soon as possible that you are pregnant. More than likely, they are going to find out-and they might even be suspicious now-and they would rather hear the news from you than from someone else.
Plan Your Approach
You know your parents, how they deal with problems, and the "right" time to speak with them. You may want to wait until they are relaxed and easiest to talk to. Maybe it would be best if you were not around when they received the news. It is difficult to think when you are nervous, but it is time now to consider how best to approach them.
What If They Want Me to Have an Abortion?
First you need to understand what your parents might be feeling in order to be sensitive to their concerns, then you need to come up with a responsible plan of action. Your parents need to see that you have seriously thought everything through.
As you plan for your future, there are many possibilities available to you that you might not be aware of. The counselors at our centers can help you weigh your options.
How Should I Tell Them?
We find that it is always best to talk face-to-face. There is just no perfect substitute for sitting down and discussing something in the presence of another person. However, if the thought of telling your parents in person frightens you, consider these other alternatives:
- you could write them a card or a letter, and then either hand it to them personally, mail it to them, or leave it in their room. Once they have read it you may next ask them to sit down and talk it over with you (allow plenty of time to work things through);
- you could send them an e-mail;
- you could call them on the telephone. It might be easiest for you to communicate over the phone. It probably would be best to talk to one parent at a time, however.
What Should I Say?
You want to communicate your love along with your sorrow for the pain you may have caused them. You might say something simple and straightforward like this:
Dear Mom,
I love you, but I'm afraid I've really blown it. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but I'm pregnant.
You not only have yourself to think of now, but also your parents and the little life growing inside you. It's time to be strong, act wisely, and do the right thing. (If you need help, it is available to you. Contact one of our centers for more details.)
There Is Help Available
Stop in today for a free pregnancy test and confidential counseling. Or call our crisis pregnancy hotline: 1.866.303.LOVE.
We can help answer your questions:
- What are all the alternatives?
- What are the different types of abortion?
- What are the risks attached to having an abortion?
- What do I do if I am experiencing the pain of a past abortion?
- How can I tell my parents I'm pregnant?
- What about my baby's father?
- How can I afford the medical bills?
- What if I need food or clothing?
- How will I find a job?
- Can I still finish school?
- What if I took drugs during my pregnancy?
- What if I need a place to live?
All of our services are free and confidential. Call us today!